I was looking through the past blogs and it has been about a month and a half since I have had a dream with Kacie in it... that I remember atleast. Every night before i go to sleep I think about Kacie and hope that I will have another dream... for some reason it doesn't work quite like that. i wish I could control my dreams like that. I was looking around on wikipedia reading about dreaming and lucid dreaming etc... I came across this...
Dream recall
Dream recall is simply the ability to remember dreams. Good dream recall is often described as the first step towards lucid dreaming. Better recall increases awareness of dreams in general; with limited dream recall, any lucid dreams one has can be forgotten entirely. To improve dream recall, some people keep a dream journal, writing down any dreams remembered the moment one awakes. An audio recorder can also be very helpful.[24] It is important to record the dreams as quickly as possible as there is a strong tendency to forget what one has dreamt.[25] It is suggested that for best recall, the waking dreamer should keep eyes closed while trying to remember the dream, and that one's dream journal be recorded in the present tense.[24] Describing an experience as if still in it can help the writer to recall more accurately the events of their dream.[citation needed] Dream recall can also be improved by staying still after waking up.[25] This may have something to do with REM atonia (the condition of REM sleep in which the motor neurons are not stimulated and thus the body's muscles do not move). If one purposely prevents motor neurons from firing immediately after waking from a dream, recalling said dream becomes easier. Similarly, if the dreamer changes positions in the night, they may be able to recall certain events of their dream by testing different sleeping positions.[citation needed]
Losing Kacie made 2008 the hardest year of my life. I still struggle to accept things and find myself in disbelief at times. I know it has been a really hard year for everyone else too. During this time of year I usually find myself analyzing my life and looking back at things, thinking about things I want to change... I wish I could have done things differently so that Kacie was still here. If there is one thing I have learned this year its that this world is a crazy place. You never know what is coming at you next. I think all of us have underestimated our strength until now as well. And I know that I was not this strong just by myself. I needed all of your guy's help this year.... and everyone else needed everyone too. Grieving sucks... it really does. You have no idea how comforting it can be to come to this website and unload some of my thoughts to all of you whom were very close with Kacie. I struggle talking about Kacie with other people who did not know her well. I feel as if my grieving is a burden on them and that they are tired of me talking about it.... or maybe not that they are tired of it... but I can sense there discomfort and lack of knowing what to say back to me. Sometimes i don't even need anyone to say anything back. I just want someone to listen. Thats why it is great that I can come on here and talk with all of you. It really makes my day when someone posts a new blog thats some funny story... or something i remember too.
Happy New Year. love you guys. keep posting.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Great post Natalie. First off, thanks for everything you have done this past year. I don't know what I would have done with myself if I didn't have a place to vent all of my thoughts. 2008 sucked bigtime. I have learned a lot though. I used to live a destructive lifestyle and never considered something bad happening because people at younger ages don't really weigh the consequences. I still feel extremely young. I hate to sound like an old man lecturing but I am kind of lecturing myself. Everytime I am out with friends, I am thinking about trying to be careful and also trying to take care of my friends. I definitely know what you mean about mentioning Kacie with other people and there is kind a complete silence and blank stares because people don't want to say the wrong thing back. I love talking about her. Looking at all of my stuff is a reminder in itself. I found the "tree" painting that she painted for me. I still have the t.v. she bought me even though we barely had any money. I remember the cheesecake she made me for my birthday. She did so much and I think I took a lot of it for granted. She was such a thoughtful person. Sometimes I feel like most people go through life without losing someone close to them and I am just one of the unlucky people that has to carry the burden. Kacie changed my life and everything I do is going to be in her honor.
Also, to Gary and Nancy, I am so sorry. I know Kacie was everything to you and I hope the future is a lot brighter. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time.
Kacie left me a great gift. From her experience, I stopped drinking alcohol entirely. I feel much better mentally and physically. In fact, I plan to soon put a humorous but true list on this site of my top ten reasons why I'm better off without alcohol. David Letterman will be impressed.
Let's learn from Kacie that associating with bad people and having bad habits are a dangerous combination.
thanks for all the information on dreams. Its strange that no one has had a dream of her recently, atleast that we can remember. Hopefully, someone will soon.
I know how difficult of a year it has been for everyone. This really is the worst that life has to offer. I dont think the full realization of things has hit yet because Im not sure how I get through each day.
We will always be here for you guys to listen to your thoughts and feelings about everything that has happened. We all have that bond of love for Kacie that brings us close together.
I know exactly what you mean about trying to share your feelings with other people and they just don't know what to say or do, or they just don't say anything at all.
When we lost her, a support group shared some information on grief with us and also a book of poems on dealing with grief. Theres a poem i read that reminds me of your thoughts about people reactions, and since Kacie loved poetry so much, I think I will share it with you. Maybe, i will post it.
Post a Comment