I took the day off today to remember Kacie today and to reflect on the last year we have had. I really don't know what I could have done if it weren't for this blog. It is nice to read old memories and re-comment on them as if I never read them before.
I really have a hard time dealing with the loss of Kacie. It is kind of like I always have a chip on my shoulder whenever I am talking to people. I work in the military where egotistical maniacs are the norm. It is so funny to see people try to figure me out and wonder why I am not outgoing like them. The truth is, I am thinking, "do these people know what I have been through in my life or in the last year?" This doesn't really apply to specific instances or people but is a general feeling that I have had since Kacie passed away. I don't know if this is a healthy way of thinking but something that goes through my head almost constantly.
I have seen amazing things that make up for a lot of the sad parts of my life but did this really have to happen? I just wish I could have seen her sooner than summer of 07 before I left. She even begged me to visit her in Baltimore right before I left in September 07 but I refused.
Kacie, you deserved a better chance at life. I love you and I'll always remember you.
Love, Jeff
1 comment:
jeff,
if anything this experience has taught me that you never really do know whats going on in other peoples lives, friends, strangers, coworkers... i try to remember that when i am getting frustrated with someone... and think maybe they are having a bad day, maybe they just lost their best friend like me, who knows. i try to be more sensitive and cautious.
i wish you could have been with us today but being in europe was something kacie always wanted to do. i am glad to hear you are getting your car soon.
its hard to think about things we all think that if we had done differently or had seen her just one last time maybe this would have never happened. i know how you feel. kacie did deserve a better chance at life. i will always remember her too. i use to be really afraid i was going to forget memories... but with the blog and friends like all of you we will do our best to keep her memories and spirit alive and with us. I love you, Kacie and everyone who has participated in the blog. Thanks for everything you all have done in the last year. You have all helped me tremendously. Love you all.
xo natalie
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