kacie art pt 2

kacie art

halloween

halloween is approaching and I can not help but think of Kacie. Her and I liked to always dress up as something together for halloween. We had numerous costumes... such as...

1. cowboy and indian- she was the cowboy and i was the indian. I don't have any photos of this costume. I know Lisa was with us this night. Lisa do you have any photos of Kacie that night? We all went to Fells Point

2. thelma and louise- this was an easy one for Kacie and I . We pretty much wore what we wore everyday but just added our big sunglasses, a scarf over our head and toy guns borrowed from my younger brother

3. rich chicks- this was a good one we dressed up with gaudy jewlry and bought little stuffed dogs and carried them around in our purses.

4. rag dolls- those are the ones with the rosy cheeks and pigtails

I know we had some other costumes... I just can't remember what they were...

8 oranges an hour

I thought of something funny Kacie use to always say to me. She always use to ask me to paint her stuff for her apartment or ask me if she could have some of my existing paintings. I would jokingly say to her well how much you gonna pay me? Instead of offering me money she would always offer to pay me in oranges. She would ask me "How about 8 oranges an hour?"

kacie dream!!

Had a dream about Kacie last night. Kacie and I were sitting in the audience of a political fundraiser and John McCain was giving a speech, and he started yelling at someone in the audience for falling asleep.

Kacie was sitting a few seats across from me and I remember she just started talking and talking but i don't remember what she was saying.

She then came over to me and started pulling up a piece of her hair telling me she was thinking of fixing it a certain way. Her hair was longer in my dream.

Then she started telling me how she couldn't find this or she couldn't find that.
I don't remember what she was looking for.

After that, Kacie started to tell me she was thinking of asking some of her friends to move in with her. I think she was talking about Mimi's house, because she appeared to look like she had most recently.

This is the first dream that Ive have had of her that she talked to me, i really saw her, and she looked most like she did recently. Im sorry to say that after that, I woke up in the middle of the night, but it was a great dream.

Kacie Would Have Watched This One

Kacie always denied liking my favorite singer, Frankie Valli, but last September she wanted to go to Wolf Trap with me to see him perform. As it turned out, Nancy got the extra ticket and went with me.

Jeff told me that he bought Valli's greatest hits cd in Iraq and really liked it.

Next Sunday, NBC is doing a tribute to Frankie Valli from 4:00-6:00 pm. You may want to see this and possibly you'll hear the Valli difference.

condiment queen!

KACIE'S "SEASONINGS" FOUR TYPES: 

SALT

KETCHUP

HOT SAUCE

SPRAY BUTTER

Although Kacie definitely had distinct taste for all sorts of food when it came down to it she really loved the simple things. These were basically her 4 food groups. 

I also have a funny story about Ketchup. It happened a long time ago when Kacie and I lived together in Meadow Ghetto of Catonsville. Nancy and Gary were in town. Nancy took Kacie to BJ'S or Sam's club. Some kind of big wholesale club. Kacie came back with 2 huge GALLON size containers of Ketchup. One of them she dropped in the hallway on the way in. Ketchup went EVERYWHERE! But Kacie did not clean it up. She figured it was the maintenance guys job to do. The ketchup sat and sat for weeks in that hallway. No one EVER cleaned it up. Eventually it just turned into grudge on the floor. We actually had a running bet of how long it would take before someone cleaned it up. On another occasion... Margo peed on one of the couches we had in the living room. It was actually Jeff's couch from Ikea that he gave to us when he moved or something. There was nothing we could do to get the pee smell out. So we threw the couch away. We put it outside next to the dumpster. We also had a running bet on how many days it would take before the couch got snatched up by someone. It too, sat there for weeks! I think she won the bet I thought it would have been gone sooner. People often dumped there furniture outside by the dumpsters in that neighborhood... a lot of times I think it was people getting evicted. I remember her and I had found a few dumpster treasures from time to time.

loafers

I know Larissa will probably remember the story of these shoes. Maybe some others will too. Kacie and I often bought things in pairs we would both find something we like and buy it. We found these suede loafers at Payless shoes that were super cute. I wore mine out to death and Kacie wore hers in the rain one time and they never recovered. She had these shoes when Larissa was living with her in Columbia at the townhouse. Larissa may remember the shoes that sat on her front porch for like 6 months. Those were the shoes! They got ruined from the rain and Kacie never threw them away she just left them on the front porch. Anyway, they were a burnt orange color... who would have thought? The pair that I had were more of a camel color. Anyway... I went to Salvation Army yesterday on Caton Avenue. (This was a favorite thrift store of ours she went there often with Vince and I.) I went there trying to find a pair of old boots... I was unsucsessful. Instead I found the exact pair of suede loafers from Payless in the burnt orange like Kacie had and they were my size AND brand spanking new! It was amazing. I couldn't believe it. I guess its not that hard to believe more then one person would have a pair of shoes from Payless... but it just seemed to good to be true. That was a pretty awesome thrift store find. The picture I have of the shoes is not the exact model of the shoes but it is close to what they looked like except they were burnt orange. Maybe I will take a picture of 'em soon.

Bright Eyes

Kacie's favorite singer is coming to Hilton Head on Nov. 15. He will be appearing at the Shoreline Ballroom which is a small club near our house.

Nancy and I will attend in Kacie's memory and post a review of the show.

VW Thing

Did anyone remember any cars Kacie really wanted? I always remember her wanting a VW Thing and thinking it was hideous. I think I remember her saying she wanted a purple one eight years ago but I think she would have liked the orange one better.

another grocery store find.

I was in Whole Foods today and I came across another Kacie memory. She loved this chocolate. Kacie always was a sucker for cute package design but the chocolate is actually really good too. It also comes with a love poem inside. I am pretty sure she gave a couple of these as gifts to a few valentines. I bought the dark chocolate with rasberry and it is out of this world. 

Atlas Shrugged Start Date

Jeff, are you out there? Did you get the book? We'll wait to hear from you and all get started together.

Nancy has a busy schedule right now and would like to begin Nov. 1. Is that okay with everyone? Would 1 chapter per week be okay?

Just Call Me Whitey

About one month after Kacie died, I began to see white blotches forming all over my body. It looked like my suntan was falling off. Finally, I went to a dermatologist and I was I diagnosed with a rare disease in which my body has stopped producing pigmentation. Believe it or not, Michael Jackson has the same disease and that's why he dyed his skin white. There is no cure and the disease persists for life. The sun greatly increases the spread of this stuff so I will have to avoid getting a burn or even a slight tan. The doctor told me that this disease is often brought on by shock or severe depression. Good grief. I live on a beautiful sunny island and have to stay indoors.

To change the subject, I have seriously decided to never have another drink of alcohol of any type. Nancy and I had absolutely no idea that Kacie had drinking issues. If I had known, I would have insisted that she would never have another drink. So, in Kacie's memory, I promise that I will never have another drink. Whenever I have the desire, I will think of her and move on.

blowing your nose

Did anyone else ever get yelled at for blowing your nose in front of Kacie? I was never allowed to. I had to go in the other room. Haha. She was disgusted by this. She would sometimes even ask me to run the water so she didn't have to hear it. Ha. However, she was allowed to pass gas in front of me whenever and however many times she wanted. Haha. I also was not allowed to rub my eyes. I think she thought I was getting eye goo on my hands or something.

the real deal

BINGO

Tonight I had the pleasure of going to Bingoworld off of Hanover Street Just within the city line... Boy let me tell you there were some characters there. The only time I have ever gone to a bingo hall before was with Kacie. We went to a Bingo place off of Route 40 near Westview. I found out tonight it is no longer there... they turned it into an asian market - another thing Kacie loved as we all know. Anyways, the people I saw tonight were just fascinating... Kacie and I talked about doing a documentary on Bingo. The lifers. The old ladys who had been going since who knows when. The ones that never leave. Anyway... my experience with Kacie at this bingo hall was hysterical. It was before they had passed the smoking ban in Maryland. Since most of the bingo players are smokers the whole huge big room was a smoking room and then they had a little itty bity tiny room to the side that was for non smokers. We wanted the full experience so we played in the smoking room. Desiree and Jade (friends of Kacie's from mid evil times) were there too. The smoke was sooooo thick in the room you could barely read the cards on your table. But we had a blast! I remember during intermission Kacie and I went snooping around trying to find a scooby snack and to our delight there was a snack line in the back area with all home made cakes by the old ladies!! It was absolutely delicious! I think I got something with coconut... I don't remember exactly. We always talked about going back there just to go eat the food. But once we got out of Bingo that night our eyes were burning so bad and we felt so sick from all the smoke that I think we decided maybe it wasn't worth it. Playing Bingo tonight smoke free, came so close to winning almost twice, lost 20 bucks, only ate nachos... no cake, I think I decided again that it was not worth it to go back.... UNLESS I finally make that documentary Kacie and I wanted to do... maybe I would call it "Baltimore Bingo Babes"

Solution To Our Economic Problems

As the U.S. and world markets tumble into chaos, I can't stop thinking about Atlas Shrugged. This book contains the wisdom needed to get us out of this economic mess. I can't think of a better book to read right now. Unlike the last one, this book will grab your attention and enlighten you.

Would anyone like to start it at a very slow pace? Maybe one chapter each month.

Hilton Head Island Lighthouse

Yesterday, Kacie's birthday, Nancy and I went to the south end of the island and ate at a restaurant that is next to the lighthouse in Harbortown. We like going here because I had scattered Kacie's ashes at the top of this lighthouse and it is orangish reddish brown. So, when we finished our meal we went outside and were standing in the shade formed by this large structure when a young hispanic girl and an older man walked up to us. I had worked with the young girl but didn't recognize the older man. I talked with her for a while and then started a conversation with the man. He told us that he had traveled extensively all over the United States. He was a truck driver and had visited 48 states. I asked him what was the most beautiful place he had ever seen and would like to live and he looked at us with a big smile and said "San Antonio, Texas."

Happy Birthday Kacie.

Today, Vince, Larissa and I took a short stroll down River Road in Historic Sykesville. We then wento to Gypsy's tea room in Westminster. This was Kacie's favorite place to get tea. We had cream of cauliflower soup with an apple cinnamon scone. Next we had a tray of tea sandwiches and a butterscotch chai custard with fresh fruit. We all got out own choice of a pot of tea. The last course was a lemon crunch sorbet. Whenever I ate anywhere without Kacie or she was on a diet and could not participate in what I was eating in front of her she'd always say "So tell me about it. Tell me exactly what you ate and exactly how it tasted." We would laugh and I would elaborate on food for quite some time and we would laugh some more.

I also strolled around some of Kacies favorite antique shops in Sykesville too. I saw a lot of stuff I know she would have loved. I saw a lot of old books and I saw a hankercheif embroidered with a "K" on it. I was trying to remember what I did with Kacie last year for her birthday. After reading Jeff's blog... I do remember her going to dinner with Lindsey.... I remember I was going to go but had to work late that night. I know I made it up to her somehow.... but I dont remember how. I think I may have taken her to dinner somewhere else. Does anyone else remember anything about her birthday last year?

I miss you Kacie. I wish you could have been with us today. We did it all for you. We love you.

Miss you

I remember talking to you exactly one year ago and you wouldn't answer your phone because it was a strange number. I persisted and you finally answered. You were headed to Mealey's in New Market, MD where we had our reception and Lindsay was treating you to a birthday dinner.
Happy 25th, I know you are at peace. I hope you have fun today.

Love you, Jeff

october 4, 1983 at 09:16 p.m.

I remember this day as being one of the happiest days of my life, 10/04/1983.
We will probably go to Carrabbas and have the Chicken Bryan and then take a walk on the beach in her memory.

Wish you were here, sweetheart.

Love Mom

An Enlightening Birthday Dream

I had the following dream this morning at about 8:00am just as I waking up.

Kacie's Aunt Theresa was visiting us with her husband, Jimmy, and tried to discipline Kacie because Kacie was unwilling to help her with some work. Kacie rejected the criticism and walked away. Out of anger and concern, I grabbed Kacie and pinned her down to the hood of a car. I screamed at her and said "you've got to start listening to discipline for your own good and you have to stop drinking." She calmly stood up and looked at me without expression and said "you're not doing too good yourself." She then said, "I'll be getting married soon and would like a drink at the reception." I then woke up. Kacie appeared as an adult in this dream and looked just as she did just before her wedding.

This is an interesting dream because as she was growing up, she observed that I never had much respect for most authority and the norms of society. Since she died, I've often thought that maybe I drank too much around her when she was younger and this caused her to have problems later on. She positively got her irreverant sense of humor from me also.

In Kacie's memory, would anyone like to join me in abstinence from any alcohol for an extended period of time like a month, six months or a year? We all enjoy our drinks and have abused alcohol just as she did on the night of her death. Let me know if you would like to pledge a period of abstinence in Kacie's name and I will join you.

Finally another dream...

I had a dream last night... a wonderful dream with Kacie. I had a dream that there was some kind of medical miracle and Kacie had come back. I was calling everyone on my phone to tell them Kacie was back. We all met her at some sort of resturaunt. I remember when I got there Kacie was standing talking to Lisa Marshall and I think maybe her husband. I basically screamed when I saw her and we both ran and gave each other a hug. A really long hug and I didnt want to let go. I remember while we were hugging I was so excited she was back I started talking so fast trying to tell her all these things she had missed. I don't remember what I said... but I remember being able to really feel the hug. Then we were walking around the resturaunt place... no one was there that I had called except for Lisa earlier in the dream. I remember telling Kacie that I had become good friends with Larissa and that I also talk to her parents all the time and have become good friends with them too. She seemed at peace when I was telling her these things. Then we hugged again and I said to her wow I never got so many "kdiz" hugs from you before and she said "I know." That is kind of all I remember. She also looked great... I remember her looking just like the recent picture Jeff put up from on the way to Texas. The one where she is outside holding Royal. Her skin looked so bright and glowing and I think she was wearing a similair outfit.

It seems to be in a lot of the dreams I have with Kacie I am always hugging her not wanting to ever let go. I can literally feel the tension in my dreams between my arms and almost like I am locking my body trying to hold her so she can't get away. 

I really miss her. It has been a hard week for me. I have been thinking of her a lot.