Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Two Dreams One Night

It's been a long time since I had a dream about Kacie but early this morning I had the following two dreams. Kacie looked just as she did that last night that we saw her.

In the first dream, Nancy and I were in my mother's living room. We were feeling very sad about Kacie's death, and then somehow we were transported back in time to just several days before she died. Kacie walked into the room and I told Nancy that she would soon die but she couldn't accept it. I then told Kacie that she would soon be dying because she had rejected the things that we had taught her and she had accepted the ways of the world -hook, line, and sinker. I told her that she had had too many boyfriends and she seemed to agree with me. Kacie told me that she knew of some girls that I went to high school with and that I had been a bad influence on them. I denied it and asked her to give me their names and she told me that one of them was named Dee Dee Skipper. She then took a cigarette out of her purse, lit it and smoked it in front of us. I then told her that I had found many cigarette butts around my mother's porch and I knew that she was a heavy smoker. She denied this and walked out of the house. I then opened a plastic bag that she had left behind and in it there were three bottles of vitamins that she had just bought. Nancy became very happy because she thought that Kacie was trying to improve her health but I told her that it didn't matter because she would soon die.

In the next dream, Kacie had died and Nancy and I were staying in my mother's house. We were waiting for Nancy's family to arrive and had dinner plans. They arrived early and walked into the bedroom as we were getting dressed. I was greatly annoyed and noticed that one of them was Nancy's father (who had died three months before Kacie) but he had red hair in my dream and brown hair in real life. We then walked into the living room and there were a lot of people seated there. Kacie was there and she was smiling and laughing. Nancy got excited and wanted to run to her but I kept yelling over and over again "she's not real."

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Hi Gary,
These dreams make me sad. Even though Kacie may not be the "physical" "real" presence in your dreams... perhaps you should try concentrating before bed that you want to have a "visit" with Kacie. This is what I do. A lot of times I don't end up dreaming and visiting her and its too bad... but when I do have dreams with her in them they are usually very casual like we were just hanging out. In the dream I do always seem to know that she is dead but I still laugh with her and hold her in some dreams. It makes me sad when I wake up that shes not here anymore but... atleast I did get to have those few moments in my mind of happiness with Kacie. I can't help but cry while I am writing this to you... i usually cry after i wake up from every Kacie dream. Because they are so real and it was so great to be with her again... and then i wake up to the realization all over again. But like I said, in most of the dreams I already know she is gone but I don't try to push away from her. Maybe you should try focusing your dream energy on that. I know it sounds crazy but I really do think that we do have a limited ability to somewhat control our dreaming.